Grief is an intensely personal and often overwhelming experience, and for those in the yachting industry, the challenges are compounded by the unique demands of working at sea. The close quarters, constant travel, and physical distance from family and traditional support networks can make navigating grief while on board particularly difficult.

Everyone experiences grief differently, depending on the nature of the loss - whether it’s the death of a family member, the end of a relationship, or even the loss of a pet or a job. The way someone processes grief can also be influenced by their upbringing, beliefs, past experiences, and mental and physical health. The Kubler-Ross model, which outlines five stages of grief, can be a helpful framework for understanding these emotions. The stages are:

🟦 Denial – Avoiding the reality of the loss.
🟦 Anger – A powerful emotional outburst.
🟦 Bargaining – Trying to make deals to reverse the loss.
🟦 Depression – Coming to terms with the inevitability of the loss.
🟦 Acceptance – Finding a way forward. 

​It's important to remember that there’s no “right” way to grieve, nor is there a set timeline. People move through these stages at their own pace, and there’s no “normal” amount of time to take off work. Some may find solace in maintaining their routine, while others may need more time away from the job to process their emotions.​

Working on a yacht means living in close quarters with others, which can make grief feel even more intense. The confined space leaves little room for personal reflection or privacy, and emotional outbursts can affect the entire crew. Additionally, the demands of the job can make it difficult to take time off for personal grieving, and the distance from family or friends can amplify feelings of isolation.

With such a small crew, the loss of a colleague or a loved one affects everyone. Crew members might be forced to balance their grief with the responsibilities of the job, which can be emotionally draining for both the grieving person and the rest of the team. It’s vital that everyone practices self-care during such times and looks out for one another.

It’s normal to feel sad and it’s good to make some allowances for that. Routines are good! Normality may seem like a world away but getting on with day to day jobs could help. We usually think of grieving as purely emotional but there can be physical symptoms – keep an eye out for fatigue, nausea, lowered immunity, pains, and insomnia. The mind and body are connected, when your body is well, this can help you deal with more emotional stress so even if you don’t feel like it, eat well and try to get some sleep. If you feel up to it then exercising will help too.

​Although alcohol seems like a great idea to numb the pain, watch out – it’ll be far, far worse when it wears off (and that can be said for drugs too).

​Counselling or therapy may help. Speaking with a professional can be beneficial, especially if grief is turning into something more complex, like PTSD or trauma. Many counselors offer virtual sessions, which can be convenient for those working on a yacht. There are also apps that allow you to message a counselor, providing support even when you're miles away from home.​

If you are working with someone who is grieving, it’s important to be understanding. If they seem overwhelmed or unable to cope, check in with them. If you feel comfortable, offer to talk or let them know they can reach out when they need to. Sometimes, it’s also helpful to speak with a captain or department head, who can offer additional support.

Grief affects everyone differently, and what may seem like a small issue to one person may be a huge obstacle to another. It's important to show patience and compassion, even if you don’t fully understand what they’re going through. A helpful analogy often used to describe grief is the “ball in a box” metaphor. 

So, grief is like a box with a ball in it. And inside the box, there’s a pain button. At first, the ball is huge, and every time it moves, it hits that button. It hurts constantly. And it can be relentless. Over time, the ball gets smaller, and it hits the button less often. However, when it does hit, it still hurts just as much. Although it’s better as you start to function more easily again, the downside is that the ball randomly hits that button when you least expect it…”

This analogy highlights how grief doesn’t go away—it just becomes easier to manage as time goes on. For most people, the ball never disappears, but it becomes more manageable with time.

Where to turn for help? There are lots of resources out there but a good place to start is here: 

YachtCrewHelp offer various ways to communication including live chat, whatsapp or even by phone. Please don’t suffer alone. 

 💡 Want more guidance on staying mentally strong at sea?
You’ll find a full section on mental health - plus practical tools to help you stay balanced and resilient - in Superyacht Life: How to Start, Succeed, & Stay Sane by Erica Lay, available 1st October on Amazon.